ADOPTION POEM

I WANT TO SHARE ONE OF MY FAVORITE POEMS, LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD.

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.

Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love. The second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality. The other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent. The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile. The other dried your tears.

One sought for you a home that she could not provide.
The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.

And now you ask me, through your tears,
the age-old question unanswered through the years
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?
Neither , my darling. Neither. Just two different kinds of love.


If you go to http://www.thereisnomewithoutyou.com/ there is a picture of Kalab on the slide show. She is on the home page slide show and on the foster mother link's slide show. She is the one with the two pig tails in the blue skirt and blouse. Quite a cutie. If you've never read that book. It is a must. It is the story of one womans mission to help Ethiopia's orphans. It is the story of HIV, poverty, political unrest, crimes against humanity and more. It is one of the most eye opening books I have ever read. I recommend it to everyone.
We leave to get Adam and Lauren tonight for Spring break. Pray for our safe travels and peace among our children. I am off next week to spend time with the kids. I am looking very forward to it.

Happy Easter

"He is not here, for He has Risen, just as He said. Come, see the place where he was lying." Matthew 28:6
We had a wonderful Easter holiday. We attended our church, my parents and Noah's Dad family all joined us. Then we went out for lunch.

Picture of Memaw

Every child should be so blessed to have a wonderful grandma who wears bunny ears. My inlaws had us over Saturday night to celebrate Easter. My mother in law, Shirley, is a wonderful gracious lady. She always has the table decorated and this time even decorated herself!

Beniam and Derara at chruch. Adam and Lauren were with their Grandma and Grandpa and somehow I didn't snap a shot of Noah so I threw in one of my favorite pictures so all would be included :)

King Arthur

Ryan felt like "King Arthur" at the head of the table and welcomed us all to dine with him. Notice Beniam giggling.

Noah's beautiful cousins, Meicon, Leyla, and Nathan. We were so happy to have them and their beautiful Mama's join us for lunch!

This Christmas my Mom received her FIRST ever Christmas stocking. I figured she had never had an Easter basket and we made her one. She loved it and I was right, it was her first. We put a couple things in it for Papaw just in case he hadn't had one either, but he did not grow up poor like Mom and had received baskets as a child. He still enjoyed the video game I hear:)

Easter dessert

Dessert was complete with a bunny ice sculpture and a chocolate fountain!

A Pauper @ Practice

Noah had his first baseball practice of the season yesterday. It was at his coaches house. A bit unusual I admit, but he had another coach that practiced at his house. We had a bit of difficulty finding the house and with Noah talking and asking questions at the speed of light, we had to turn around a few times. As we drove the long paved driveway to the monster home, a funny thing happened. My '02 Honda Civic seemed to be making me LESS significant. Suddenly I was very aware that my right mirror was missing (secondary to hitting the side of the garage backing out), the scrapes down the right side of the car seemed more severe (also caused from poorly backing out of the garage:), and the dirty windshield seemed even dirtier (no reflection to my personal hygiene.) For a couple of moments I felt a pang of....jealousy? Here I am a follower of Christ with the full understanding that these materiel possessions are temporary and of no eternal significance, and I'm...jealous? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING! Why is this? Why do I occasional feel covetous of other people's homes and nice cars? Why do I sometimes feel jealous that some Mom's get to stay and home and not work and others of us are often pushed to the limit? Is it simply the tactic of comparison that is used by the enemy? Or is it something else? Is our desire for beautiful things part of our desire for heaven? Or am I simply still very immature?
On a lighter note: Noah's practice was great. His coach said he is a true "ATH-E-LETE". He also said he is very well behaved. I think he missed the musical performance he put on for us Mom's. He was not so gracefully dancing and showing us what the "Z Man" can do. Drama has caused him to blossom perhaps. Or maybe just maybe one of his parents is a bit dramatic...:)

Africa

The African children's choir came to our church again this weekend. I can't explain how undone I become when they start singing or performing. When the drums start and the shouts begin, its like all the cells of my soul join together and rise. When their sweet voices begin to sing I answer them with tears. Undone. I ask God, "How many God. How many do I give homes to?" He answers "All of them." I smile and and ask, "What kind of answer is that." "Find them." "We don't have the money. " "It will come." I look over at Derara and he is crying softly. He tells me the choir makes him sad and makes him cry. He misses his brothers and sisters. He longs for them. I long for Africa. "Why him God? Why does he have to hurt? He is so sweet." silence. After we leave church we pass a warehouse for lease that is 25,000. square feet. Ryan says, "There's us a place. Its about the right size." He feels it too.

COUNTING COSTS

THE FOLLOWING POST IS COPIED FROM http://thelongsgrowingfamily.blogspot.com

I was deeply moved by this blog entry. Here's just a snipit:
"Adoption is not cheap. It comes with a high cost. And the bottom line is that those costs continue to increase once the adoption fees are paid. Bottom-line is that getting them home is not even close to half the financial struggle. My wife has a favorite saying..."Life is expensive!" The reality of adoption..."Adoption is expensive. "... and it is just a part of our life. Bottom-line is that there are 7 kids in our house that need a chance at life...(Not all that life has to offer since so much of what life has to offer is undesirable...) but a chance at life nonetheless. Of ocurse, we are only in the early stages of our adopted kids joining our bio kids at home. It will only get more expensive. School assessments and curriculum (we home school), dental appointments, doctor appointments, gas, groceries, water bills, toilet paper, hair care products (I'm thinking random head shavings could become common practice !!), did I mention bananas by the bunches, the list goes on and on. And the bottom-line is that all of this has to be paid for with actual currency of some sort. I actually get upset every now and again at just how much it does cost to live in this world and raise a family.
But God...I so much love the many passages of Scripture that start out this way...You see, the bigger bottom-line is that God is able. God knows it is not cheap and God knows that it will only get more expensive. There are no secrets with God. God knows that most of us do not have the finances for adoption costs collecting dust in the corner of our dresser. Bottom-line is that I am not able to provide for 7 children...But God! Bottom-line is that (this is real to Kris and I) we had absolutely no way to come up with the upfront costs of adoption...But God! Bottom-line is that I have no idea how we will afford these kids moving forward...But God! Bottom-line is that God has never made a calling on anyone's life without first having made provision for that calling. Who does God borrow from? God owns the cattle on a thousand hills...God knows all of His children by name...God knows and has named the stars that He hung in Heaven. God will use any means He desires to make the provision for the adoption you are considering.
Bottom-line - I was correct and am still correct...I have no way to pay for or afford this adoption and I have no way to continue to meet the financial needs that are coming. But God! Bottom-line ...neither do you, and if you let that stop you, you will fall into the same trap that so many have fallen into that willl leave nothing done in the life of 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 children. God is in the business of growing His children, and generally that means that I need to learn to trust HIm more. And that's the bottom-line!

Wow! Trust him more. That is the lesson He keeps teaching me.

JESUS' CHAIR

Today I found my self sitting in a waiting room @ an HIV clinic. As I waited for my meeting I watched the patients come in to the waiting room. Most were by all appearances gay men. There was one small Hispanic woman and a baby. I tried not to look at the people, but my eyes would not mind me and looked anyway. These are the forgotten of our society, I began to think. This is where Jesus would be if he were here. I sat quietly and read an article about a single white female and her battle against HIV. I fought back tears, and lost. Ryan was sitting close to me and I could tell he could feel it too, the loneliness of the room. The sadness of that space in time.
The visit to the clinic reminded me of another time, another place that I knew Jesus would spend time. It's called the Messner home. It's on a main road in Lexington. From the front it appears to only be an old house. You have to drive behind the house, in a cul-de-sac to park. At first from that angle it looks like an old house with a couple of cottages. First stepping inside the main house, was something I'll never forget. This place, this home, houses approx 70 Vietnam vets and/or homeless young men. It is as if you left the United States and entered a developing country, or stepped into the twilight zone. The residents were among the most deranged men I have ever encountered. I was a little afraid I must admit, and I never went alone again. I had the privilege to talk with a man who had prior been homeless and now was thankful to have a bed. He was afraid to remove his shoes and socks, for fear of them being stolen, and had developed open wounds on his feet. He had/ they had no sheets, blankets, rags or towels. Each time we would visit we would buy clothes and rags and such, that this man could feel clean, even human. We donated other items to the home as well. We sat on the porch with a guy with quarters sticking out of his ears, apparently to tune in or out the voices in his head. I talked with a young man, 18 or so, who had obvious mania and could not wait for his wife to get out of rehab at the HOPE center so they could start a life together. I watched an emaciated man, who feared his food was poisoned, try to sell one of the 7 or so hats he had on his head at one time. My stories could go on and on. The first day I went there after pulling away from the curb, I thought, this is as close to Jesus as I might ever be. Though none can comprehend what leaving heaven was like to come to this earth, I experienced something similar. I left my sheltered life and entered a life or disorganized thought, filth and sickness. I physically touched these people, but they spiritually touched me.
Today after reflecting on these two places, I think of the power in us thru the HOLY SPIRIT. We have the power to make someones day. If I were in Jesus' seat at the HIV clinic, I'm sure he would have done more than sit. He would have had a kind word or gentle touch to the patients in the lobby. If Jesus was visiting the Messner home, the people would have been changed. At best I helped the wounds heal on one gentleman's foot. I am not trying to be self deprecating, just realizing the power that we have to make someones day, and how often we let these opportunities slip by. Another thought I had today was about the war rhetoric we hear in some Churches. Some Church's tend to make the enemy the liberals, the gays, the fruit nuts. Today more clearly than ever I see our real battle is with the principalities of darkness, darkest of all seems to me is loneliness. I hope I have the honor to serve these people, who Jesus created and loves, many times in the future.

A HANDSOME BOY

A FIRST SNOW MAN

DERARA ENJOYS HIS FIRST SNOW MAN.

EAR CANDLES ANYONE?

A FUN FATHER DAUGHTER EXPERIENCE, WELL SORT OF.

Dr. Seuss has a birthday

Beniam's school celebrated Dr. Seuss birthday - 104!

DON'T MISS THE JOURNEY

I listened to a fantastic sermon from Menlo Park Presbyterian (on my ipod) by a guy who works for an international justice group. Micah 6:8 was one of his foundation verses. He told the story of going to Mt. Ranier with his father and then not going on the hike after he'd read all the scarey caution signs. He went on the trip but never made the journey he goes on to say. He asks the question of where would Jesus be? Certainly not sitting in the visitor center. It led me to ask the question what keeps we Christians for doing more for the Kingdom? It must be the same reason that he had as a boy, fear. It made me remember the great poem by Marianne Williamson, Our Deepest Fear:
OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS NOT THAT WE ARE INADEQUATE-
OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS THAT
WE ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE.
IT IS OUR LIGHT, NOT OUR DARKNESS, THAT FRIGHTENS US.
WE ASK OURSELVES, 'WHO AM I TO BE
BRILLIANT, GORGEOUS, TALENTED, FABULOUS?'

ACTUALLY, WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BE?

YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD.
YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOESN'T SERVE THE WORLD.
THERE'S NOTHING ENLIGHTENED ABOUT SHRINKING
SO THAT OTHER PEOPLE WON'T FEEL INSECURE AROUND YOU.

WE ARE BORN TO MAKE MANIFEST
THE GLORY OF GOD THAT IS WITHIN US.
IT'S NOT JUST IN SOME OF US; IT'S IN EVERYONE.
AND AS WE LET OUR LIGHT SHINE, WE UNCONSCIOUSLY
GIVE OTHER PEOPLE PERMISSION TO DO THE SAME.
AS WE ARE LIBERATED FROM OUR OWN FEAR,
OUR PRESENCE AUTOMATICALLY LIBERATES OTHERS.

Benaim, our youngest, claims to have a brother in Ethiopia. Our records show him to have no brother. Believing this to be only in his imagination, I emailed the adoption agency we used for his adoption, CWA. They emailed me back and have assigned someone to investigate. When I read their email, I was a bit taken aback. I expected the response, "Our records show him to have no siblings." I was not expecting an investigation. Then my mind goes to what if? What if he does have a brother? Who am I to adopt more children? 6 is enough. But just as in the poem, WHO AM I TO NOT? I am a CHILD of GOD. I am a 34 year old woman who grew up in a double wide trailor in Barbourville Kentucky. I am a survivor of rape, divorce, co-dependency, abuse. I went to college as a single mother. I married a Doctor. I made it to AFrica, a life long dream, and my barefeet walked the African soil with monkeys playing along side me. WHO AM I TO NOT? My first fear thought is usually GOD WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY? WHO IS GOD TO NOT? HE has always proven faithful to deliver me, restore me and redeem me. WHO AM I TO NOT? WHO ARE YOU TO NOT? Lets not go on the trip and miss the journey.

MICAH 6:8

One of our scriptures this weekend was Micah 6:8. It is a very special verse to me. It is while teaching my kids this verse that I settled on the name Mercy. The verse reads: "He has told you o man what is good; And what does the Lord require of you but to walk justly, to love MERCY, and to walk humbly with your God?" As you can see our daughter to be's name is a bit difficult. Even after I tell people it is NOT CALEB it is KaLAb, they still say "When is Caleb coming home?" We haven't decided yet if we will call her Kalab or Mercy, for now she is Kalab Mercy, and we feel led that we must LOVE her as in the scripture. Adoption is truly a miracle. Human nature does not allow us to love a child that we did not birth and do not know, only GOD gives us such a blessing. There have been many naysayers along our journey. I might say there have been so few people who have encouraged us I can count them on a couple fingers. Mostly all we have heard is "Don't beat yourself up if you don't love them." "What if they don't like you?" "Why would you do this to you child/dren?" "Are they black?" I particularly love that one. I am dying to say "No they were the only white ones in Ethiopia so we grabbed them." Please be kind when you are talking to adoptive parents. Adoption is a miracle but like most growing processes it is painful at times. These courageous folks need encouragement. Please don't say things like "Which ones are your real kids?" I didn't know I had any artificial children. If you are close to a person you may ask about their choice to adopt versus birth a child. ADOPTION IS NOT SECOND TO CHILDBIRTH. Adopted children are not second place kids. There are many places in scripture which talk about our spiritual adoption, by which we become "joint heirs". Not servants but JOINT HEIRS! Our kids truly become our kids. Just as we are predestined into the family of God, we believe our kids were made in their birth mothers wombs with our home a stop on their journey back to the one who created them. Ephesians 1:5 says : He predestined us to ADOPTION as sons through Jesus Christ himself, according to the kind intention of HIS will." If you don't understand adoption, turn to the one who designed it and pray for wisdom on this matter. If you'd like to help a child have a home, contact us and you can make a tax free donation.

GOD SPEAK THRU CROOKED OLD LADIES AND I REPENT

I WAS TELLING MY MOM THE OTHER DAY ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK OUT AT THE GYM I ATTEND, WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK OUT. ONE PARTICULAR LADY STOOD OUT IN MY MIND. SHE IS OLDER AND SHE CARRIES A FULLY OPENED NEWSPAPER AND GOES MACHINE TO MACHINE DOING THEM ALL. SHE WEARS BLACK SHORTS PULLED UP UNDER HER BREASTS AND BLACK SOCKS AND WHITE TENNIS SHOES. AFTER THE CONVERSATION WITH MY MOM, I WENT TO WORK OUT AND THERE SHE WAS. ONLY THIS TIME SHE WAS WALKING ON THE TRACK. I COULD SEE HER FULLY NOW, NOT HIDING BEHIND A MACHINE OR A NEWSPAPER. SOME DISEASE HAS DEFORMED HER BODY. SHE HAS A SPINE RESEMBLING SCOLIOSIS AND HER LIMBS ARE ALL CROOKED AND SWING WHEN SHE WALKS. HER FACE WAS WHAT CAUGHT MY BREATH THOUGH. IT WAS REDDENED AND WET WITH SWEAT AND PAIN WAS WRITTEN ON EVERY LINE. GOD WAS SPEAKING TO ME. SHE WORKS THRU THE PAIN. AND THOUGH SHE IS STRONG ENOUGH TO WORK THRU THE PAIN, SHE IS SELF CONSCIOUS. SHE USES THAT NEWSPAPER TO HIDE. TO HIDE FROM PEOPLE LIKE ME, WITH LAUGHING EYES. I REPENT OF THIS SIN, TO THE ONE WHO CREATED THIS BRAVE LADY. THE ONE WHOSE IMAGE SHE BEARS. WOULD I WORK THRU THE PAIN?
HOW MUCH GOD CAN TEACH US THRU EVEN CROOKED OLD LADIES. PRAISE HE WHO FORGIVES.