I listened to a fantastic sermon from Menlo Park Presbyterian (on my ipod) by a guy who works for an international justice group. Micah 6:8 was one of his foundation verses. He told the story of going to Mt. Ranier with his father and then not going on the hike after he'd read all the scarey caution signs. He went on the trip but never made the journey he goes on to say. He asks the question of where would Jesus be? Certainly not sitting in the visitor center. It led me to ask the question what keeps we Christians for doing more for the Kingdom? It must be the same reason that he had as a boy, fear. It made me remember the great poem by Marianne Williamson, Our Deepest Fear:
OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS NOT THAT WE ARE INADEQUATE-
OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS THAT
WE ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE.
IT IS OUR LIGHT, NOT OUR DARKNESS, THAT FRIGHTENS US.
WE ASK OURSELVES, 'WHO AM I TO BE
BRILLIANT, GORGEOUS, TALENTED, FABULOUS?'
ACTUALLY, WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BE?
YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD.
YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOESN'T SERVE THE WORLD.
THERE'S NOTHING ENLIGHTENED ABOUT SHRINKING
SO THAT OTHER PEOPLE WON'T FEEL INSECURE AROUND YOU.
WE ARE BORN TO MAKE MANIFEST
THE GLORY OF GOD THAT IS WITHIN US.
IT'S NOT JUST IN SOME OF US; IT'S IN EVERYONE.
AND AS WE LET OUR LIGHT SHINE, WE UNCONSCIOUSLY
GIVE OTHER PEOPLE PERMISSION TO DO THE SAME.
AS WE ARE LIBERATED FROM OUR OWN FEAR,
OUR PRESENCE AUTOMATICALLY LIBERATES OTHERS.
Benaim, our youngest, claims to have a brother in Ethiopia. Our records show him to have no brother. Believing this to be only in his imagination, I emailed the adoption agency we used for his adoption, CWA. They emailed me back and have assigned someone to investigate. When I read their email, I was a bit taken aback. I expected the response, "Our records show him to have no siblings." I was not expecting an investigation. Then my mind goes to what if? What if he does have a brother? Who am I to adopt more children? 6 is enough. But just as in the poem, WHO AM I TO NOT? I am a CHILD of GOD. I am a 34 year old woman who grew up in a double wide trailor in Barbourville Kentucky. I am a survivor of rape, divorce, co-dependency, abuse. I went to college as a single mother. I married a Doctor. I made it to AFrica, a life long dream, and my barefeet walked the African soil with monkeys playing along side me. WHO AM I TO NOT? My first fear thought is usually GOD WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY? WHO IS GOD TO NOT? HE has always proven faithful to deliver me, restore me and redeem me. WHO AM I TO NOT? WHO ARE YOU TO NOT? Lets not go on the trip and miss the journey.