Tuesday, March 25, 2008
This Christmas my Mom received her FIRST ever Christmas stocking. I figured she had never had an Easter basket and we made her one. She loved it and I was right, it was her first. We put a couple things in it for Papaw just in case he hadn't had one either, but he did not grow up poor like Mom and had received baskets as a child. He still enjoyed the video game I hear:)
Friday, March 21, 2008
A Pauper @ Practice
Noah had his first baseball practice of the season yesterday. It was at his coaches house. A bit unusual I admit, but he had another coach that practiced at his house. We had a bit of difficulty finding the house and with Noah talking and asking questions at the speed of light, we had to turn around a few times. As we drove the long paved driveway to the monster home, a funny thing happened. My '02 Honda Civic seemed to be making me LESS significant. Suddenly I was very aware that my right mirror was missing (secondary to hitting the side of the garage backing out), the scrapes down the right side of the car seemed more severe (also caused from poorly backing out of the garage:), and the dirty windshield seemed even dirtier (no reflection to my personal hygiene.) For a couple of moments I felt a pang of....jealousy? Here I am a follower of Christ with the full understanding that these materiel possessions are temporary and of no eternal significance, and I'm...jealous? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING! Why is this? Why do I occasional feel covetous of other people's homes and nice cars? Why do I sometimes feel jealous that some Mom's get to stay and home and not work and others of us are often pushed to the limit? Is it simply the tactic of comparison that is used by the enemy? Or is it something else? Is our desire for beautiful things part of our desire for heaven? Or am I simply still very immature?
On a lighter note: Noah's practice was great. His coach said he is a true "ATH-E-LETE". He also said he is very well behaved. I think he missed the musical performance he put on for us Mom's. He was not so gracefully dancing and showing us what the "Z Man" can do. Drama has caused him to blossom perhaps. Or maybe just maybe one of his parents is a bit dramatic...:)
On a lighter note: Noah's practice was great. His coach said he is a true "ATH-E-LETE". He also said he is very well behaved. I think he missed the musical performance he put on for us Mom's. He was not so gracefully dancing and showing us what the "Z Man" can do. Drama has caused him to blossom perhaps. Or maybe just maybe one of his parents is a bit dramatic...:)
Monday, March 17, 2008
Africa
The African children's choir came to our church again this weekend. I can't explain how undone I become when they start singing or performing. When the drums start and the shouts begin, its like all the cells of my soul join together and rise. When their sweet voices begin to sing I answer them with tears. Undone. I ask God, "How many God. How many do I give homes to?" He answers "All of them." I smile and and ask, "What kind of answer is that." "Find them." "We don't have the money. " "It will come." I look over at Derara and he is crying softly. He tells me the choir makes him sad and makes him cry. He misses his brothers and sisters. He longs for them. I long for Africa. "Why him God? Why does he have to hurt? He is so sweet." silence. After we leave church we pass a warehouse for lease that is 25,000. square feet. Ryan says, "There's us a place. Its about the right size." He feels it too.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
COUNTING COSTS
THE FOLLOWING POST IS COPIED FROM http://thelongsgrowingfamily.blogspot.com
I was deeply moved by this blog entry. Here's just a snipit:
"Adoption is not cheap. It comes with a high cost. And the bottom line is that those costs continue to increase once the adoption fees are paid. Bottom-line is that getting them home is not even close to half the financial struggle. My wife has a favorite saying..."Life is expensive!" The reality of adoption..."Adoption is expensive. "... and it is just a part of our life. Bottom-line is that there are 7 kids in our house that need a chance at life...(Not all that life has to offer since so much of what life has to offer is undesirable...) but a chance at life nonetheless. Of ocurse, we are only in the early stages of our adopted kids joining our bio kids at home. It will only get more expensive. School assessments and curriculum (we home school), dental appointments, doctor appointments, gas, groceries, water bills, toilet paper, hair care products (I'm thinking random head shavings could become common practice !!), did I mention bananas by the bunches, the list goes on and on. And the bottom-line is that all of this has to be paid for with actual currency of some sort. I actually get upset every now and again at just how much it does cost to live in this world and raise a family.
But God...I so much love the many passages of Scripture that start out this way...You see, the bigger bottom-line is that God is able. God knows it is not cheap and God knows that it will only get more expensive. There are no secrets with God. God knows that most of us do not have the finances for adoption costs collecting dust in the corner of our dresser. Bottom-line is that I am not able to provide for 7 children...But God! Bottom-line is that (this is real to Kris and I) we had absolutely no way to come up with the upfront costs of adoption...But God! Bottom-line is that I have no idea how we will afford these kids moving forward...But God! Bottom-line is that God has never made a calling on anyone's life without first having made provision for that calling. Who does God borrow from? God owns the cattle on a thousand hills...God knows all of His children by name...God knows and has named the stars that He hung in Heaven. God will use any means He desires to make the provision for the adoption you are considering.
Bottom-line - I was correct and am still correct...I have no way to pay for or afford this adoption and I have no way to continue to meet the financial needs that are coming. But God! Bottom-line ...neither do you, and if you let that stop you, you will fall into the same trap that so many have fallen into that willl leave nothing done in the life of 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 children. God is in the business of growing His children, and generally that means that I need to learn to trust HIm more. And that's the bottom-line!
Wow! Trust him more. That is the lesson He keeps teaching me.
I was deeply moved by this blog entry. Here's just a snipit:
"Adoption is not cheap. It comes with a high cost. And the bottom line is that those costs continue to increase once the adoption fees are paid. Bottom-line is that getting them home is not even close to half the financial struggle. My wife has a favorite saying..."Life is expensive!" The reality of adoption..."Adoption is expensive. "... and it is just a part of our life. Bottom-line is that there are 7 kids in our house that need a chance at life...(Not all that life has to offer since so much of what life has to offer is undesirable...) but a chance at life nonetheless. Of ocurse, we are only in the early stages of our adopted kids joining our bio kids at home. It will only get more expensive. School assessments and curriculum (we home school), dental appointments, doctor appointments, gas, groceries, water bills, toilet paper, hair care products (I'm thinking random head shavings could become common practice !!), did I mention bananas by the bunches, the list goes on and on. And the bottom-line is that all of this has to be paid for with actual currency of some sort. I actually get upset every now and again at just how much it does cost to live in this world and raise a family.
But God...I so much love the many passages of Scripture that start out this way...You see, the bigger bottom-line is that God is able. God knows it is not cheap and God knows that it will only get more expensive. There are no secrets with God. God knows that most of us do not have the finances for adoption costs collecting dust in the corner of our dresser. Bottom-line is that I am not able to provide for 7 children...But God! Bottom-line is that (this is real to Kris and I) we had absolutely no way to come up with the upfront costs of adoption...But God! Bottom-line is that I have no idea how we will afford these kids moving forward...But God! Bottom-line is that God has never made a calling on anyone's life without first having made provision for that calling. Who does God borrow from? God owns the cattle on a thousand hills...God knows all of His children by name...God knows and has named the stars that He hung in Heaven. God will use any means He desires to make the provision for the adoption you are considering.
Bottom-line - I was correct and am still correct...I have no way to pay for or afford this adoption and I have no way to continue to meet the financial needs that are coming. But God! Bottom-line ...neither do you, and if you let that stop you, you will fall into the same trap that so many have fallen into that willl leave nothing done in the life of 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 children. God is in the business of growing His children, and generally that means that I need to learn to trust HIm more. And that's the bottom-line!
Wow! Trust him more. That is the lesson He keeps teaching me.
Monday, March 10, 2008
JESUS' CHAIR
Today I found my self sitting in a waiting room @ an HIV clinic. As I waited for my meeting I watched the patients come in to the waiting room. Most were by all appearances gay men. There was one small Hispanic woman and a baby. I tried not to look at the people, but my eyes would not mind me and looked anyway. These are the forgotten of our society, I began to think. This is where Jesus would be if he were here. I sat quietly and read an article about a single white female and her battle against HIV. I fought back tears, and lost. Ryan was sitting close to me and I could tell he could feel it too, the loneliness of the room. The sadness of that space in time.
The visit to the clinic reminded me of another time, another place that I knew Jesus would spend time. It's called the Messner home. It's on a main road in Lexington. From the front it appears to only be an old house. You have to drive behind the house, in a cul-de-sac to park. At first from that angle it looks like an old house with a couple of cottages. First stepping inside the main house, was something I'll never forget. This place, this home, houses approx 70 Vietnam vets and/or homeless young men. It is as if you left the United States and entered a developing country, or stepped into the twilight zone. The residents were among the most deranged men I have ever encountered. I was a little afraid I must admit, and I never went alone again. I had the privilege to talk with a man who had prior been homeless and now was thankful to have a bed. He was afraid to remove his shoes and socks, for fear of them being stolen, and had developed open wounds on his feet. He had/ they had no sheets, blankets, rags or towels. Each time we would visit we would buy clothes and rags and such, that this man could feel clean, even human. We donated other items to the home as well. We sat on the porch with a guy with quarters sticking out of his ears, apparently to tune in or out the voices in his head. I talked with a young man, 18 or so, who had obvious mania and could not wait for his wife to get out of rehab at the HOPE center so they could start a life together. I watched an emaciated man, who feared his food was poisoned, try to sell one of the 7 or so hats he had on his head at one time. My stories could go on and on. The first day I went there after pulling away from the curb, I thought, this is as close to Jesus as I might ever be. Though none can comprehend what leaving heaven was like to come to this earth, I experienced something similar. I left my sheltered life and entered a life or disorganized thought, filth and sickness. I physically touched these people, but they spiritually touched me.
Today after reflecting on these two places, I think of the power in us thru the HOLY SPIRIT. We have the power to make someones day. If I were in Jesus' seat at the HIV clinic, I'm sure he would have done more than sit. He would have had a kind word or gentle touch to the patients in the lobby. If Jesus was visiting the Messner home, the people would have been changed. At best I helped the wounds heal on one gentleman's foot. I am not trying to be self deprecating, just realizing the power that we have to make someones day, and how often we let these opportunities slip by. Another thought I had today was about the war rhetoric we hear in some Churches. Some Church's tend to make the enemy the liberals, the gays, the fruit nuts. Today more clearly than ever I see our real battle is with the principalities of darkness, darkest of all seems to me is loneliness. I hope I have the honor to serve these people, who Jesus created and loves, many times in the future.
The visit to the clinic reminded me of another time, another place that I knew Jesus would spend time. It's called the Messner home. It's on a main road in Lexington. From the front it appears to only be an old house. You have to drive behind the house, in a cul-de-sac to park. At first from that angle it looks like an old house with a couple of cottages. First stepping inside the main house, was something I'll never forget. This place, this home, houses approx 70 Vietnam vets and/or homeless young men. It is as if you left the United States and entered a developing country, or stepped into the twilight zone. The residents were among the most deranged men I have ever encountered. I was a little afraid I must admit, and I never went alone again. I had the privilege to talk with a man who had prior been homeless and now was thankful to have a bed. He was afraid to remove his shoes and socks, for fear of them being stolen, and had developed open wounds on his feet. He had/ they had no sheets, blankets, rags or towels. Each time we would visit we would buy clothes and rags and such, that this man could feel clean, even human. We donated other items to the home as well. We sat on the porch with a guy with quarters sticking out of his ears, apparently to tune in or out the voices in his head. I talked with a young man, 18 or so, who had obvious mania and could not wait for his wife to get out of rehab at the HOPE center so they could start a life together. I watched an emaciated man, who feared his food was poisoned, try to sell one of the 7 or so hats he had on his head at one time. My stories could go on and on. The first day I went there after pulling away from the curb, I thought, this is as close to Jesus as I might ever be. Though none can comprehend what leaving heaven was like to come to this earth, I experienced something similar. I left my sheltered life and entered a life or disorganized thought, filth and sickness. I physically touched these people, but they spiritually touched me.
Today after reflecting on these two places, I think of the power in us thru the HOLY SPIRIT. We have the power to make someones day. If I were in Jesus' seat at the HIV clinic, I'm sure he would have done more than sit. He would have had a kind word or gentle touch to the patients in the lobby. If Jesus was visiting the Messner home, the people would have been changed. At best I helped the wounds heal on one gentleman's foot. I am not trying to be self deprecating, just realizing the power that we have to make someones day, and how often we let these opportunities slip by. Another thought I had today was about the war rhetoric we hear in some Churches. Some Church's tend to make the enemy the liberals, the gays, the fruit nuts. Today more clearly than ever I see our real battle is with the principalities of darkness, darkest of all seems to me is loneliness. I hope I have the honor to serve these people, who Jesus created and loves, many times in the future.
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